Airtel's free roaming. first time in India!!!

Airtel has launched a new roaming plan. Pay 5 rupees a day and enjoy all incoming calls without further charges. Good for Airtel customers. But their advertisement is really interesting.

"free roaming first time in India"

When you are paying 5rupees a day, how can it be free? :)
Bsnl is having a similar offer for last one year.pay 199 and roam free for 180 days. So this is not first time in India too. oh yes!!! this is first time in India you are getting a free Service for 5 rupees. Lol.

A Rajani fans attempt to do stunt

This guy thought he can jump his qualis over the metal pile like Rajani did in many movies. But he ended up blocking the road for an hour  wasting time of many people.
Hats off  to him

Product of the year - Software Comedy Skit

Product of the Year....

Skit screen play

Story: Santhosh Kumar

Screen play: Santhosh Kumar, Ishan Vasishta, Shivam Gupta, Aditya Singh

Characters: 

Client : Mr. Khurana old guy with big tummy. Behind his beautiful sec:

Sales Manager: Rocket Singh: Young guy, very talkative

Secretary: Beauty conscious young lady

PM: Beautiful lady. Always in fight with dev and QA

QA: Bihari, Weak in English. planning to go on date with PM

Dev: South Indian, crazy about food, wears Lungi whenever possible

Waiter: 

Auto Driver: Greedy

Florist : Humorous

Dancer: Dev/AutoDriver/Florist can play this role if needed 

SCENE 1

Rock S : Abhi Tak nahi aaya saala . 10 baje ka tym diya tha 11 baj gaye hain.

Client Enters >>>

Rock S : Hello Sir. I am Rocket Singh from Jugad-In Mobile.

Khurana (Client) : Oi tu he hai phataka singh!! , oi bejja bejja . Dekh khurrana ka tym ni kharab karna.

Khurana sits and starts scratching his tummy

Sm: Sir we have very good products. I will suggest you to go for Emraan haashmi Mika tips....

<Secretary Enters and interrupts>

Sec : Gooood Morning khurana, . Bandh kar khujaana...

<music plays>

Sorry Khuranna, I got a bit late..... because of the stuuuu-pid cab driver.he reached my home on time...and I was still applying my makeup. you know it takes time. the idiot left without even waiting for an hour.

Khur : Oi chod aaya tenu!! Inni himmat ho ho gayi. Kal he nikal dete hain. Oi kaali ho gayi dhoop mai, thoda makeup shakeup kar le sweety.

Khur : Oi ye pategi teri Hashmi tip se ..

Rock S : Oi sir pategi ji ..ekdum pategi.

Sec <interrupts>:: Hey you Rocket Singh, why don’t you suggest a product which can put some brains in that stupid driver’s head.

ROck S : No problem sweety we have driver tips for that.

Sec (Shouting): “Sweety ?? Who gave you permission to call me sweety?”

SM: ”Oh I am sorry madam I thought your name is sweety”

Sec: “My name is Cutie Kaur. Call me Cutie”

Khur : Oi phatke aise tucche products se ni hoga. Koi vadiya product bana jo jisse bande nu pata lag jaye ki ki karna hai.

SM : Sir ji bana denge......samjo ban he gaya.

Khur : OI tu aisa kar, kal dede , ye sweety roz roz late ho jaati hai.

SM : Oi sirji kal ..sir kal sir kal kaisa hoga sir. 10 din to lag he jaayenge sir.

Khur : Oi 10 din !! na oi na .. 5 din lele chal isse jayada nai.

SM : Chal sir ji aapki nai meri nai …. saat din do aur ban gaya samjo.

Khur : Chal done.

SM calls someone: We need to create a product urgently, lets call a meeting tomorrow.

Scene 2: (Product meeting Man, QA , DEV , SM)

SM : Look Team we have to deliver a product, i.e situation based tips. like while driving we have to send driving tips n while cooking cooking tips.

QA : Ok I got it, but what if the person is So raha hai.

Product : U don’t have to send any alert while sleeping U Idiot.

Dev : Is this gonna be a pull based service. (pulls his lungi up)

Product M : No the system has to be intelligent enough to understand the situation of the user.

Dev : Paagal ho gaye ho kyaa, framework support bhi karta hai ye.????

Product : Kyaa hamra framework kuch bhi support karta hai.

SM : And we have got only 3 days of time.

Dev: teen din !!! What the Fish. Ye change to mai 3 hafte mai nahi kar sakta...

QA: mai test kab karoonga.

SM : Listen everyone UAt has been scheduled. Mujhe ye product 3 din mein chahiye

Dev QA frustrated.....

Scene End

Narration

Do deen beete kuch product bana aur kuch bigda . Aur ab laga tester ke haath::

SCENE 3: Developer does UT -  Eating Habit Tips 

Developer name is Santhosh

<Tester sitting trying to eat recieves call>

SM: Development ka status kay hai

DEv: Good morning sir. do din se sirf coding kar raha hai. Khana peena bhi nahi. Sirf development. ?

SM: Coding kon kar raha hai.

DEV: No sir I am only coding. I have finished it. Let me start testing

SM: Oh great. I am going to fire you, if th product doesn’t work properly.

DEv: Fire ??? Oh no no I will fix all bugs today itself let me start testing....

SM: ok all the best

Dev: thank you....

DEv:”let me subscribe to my product fine.....Done. ok let me have some food. too hungy....”

::tries to eat a something::

Beep Beep:: Santhosh STOP!! Have u brushed properly in the morning.

---> Garggle and then starts

Dev: Hey my product is working. I am awesome.....

:: again tries to eat something ::

Beep Beep :: Santhosh Always Brush twice a day!!

---> Garggle again

Dev :: Chalo now lets eat pizza.

::tries to eat pizza ::

Beep Beep: Santhosh......Very High Calorie Food, your cholestrol level is already too high!!

Dev:: OK let me have some Spicy Biryani.

Beep Beep:: Santosh, Dont you dare eat this, it can cause fire in your LUNGI

Dev: Lungi .... Fire????

Jumps from the seat and checks his lungi

Dev: Dara diya system ne....

Dev : Ok sandwich is healthy food, let me try that

:: tries to eat Sandwich ::

Beep Beep: Santhosh...Rotten vegetables are used in preparation of this sandwich do not eat.

<Smell it and keep it back>

Tester: It looks ok.

Beep Beep: No its not ok!!

:: tries to drink coffee ::

Beep Beep: Santhosh....Caffine is injurious to health. Also your mother did’nt want you to have too much coffee.

Dev: Bull shit 

hits hard on the table

:: tries to go for mineral water then stops::

Beep Beep :: Santhosh.....Go ahead have it, its good for health.

tester: what a stupid product. let the tester test now. Uski Lagegi

SCENE 4 Dating-----

Beep Beep : Wake up!

Beep Beep: WAKE UP Duffer ! Today you have a date!

Scene will be like funky clothing and

1st Msg: Don't bathe in ur dabba deo, have a nice shower and use a perfume.!!!!! And wear a nice plain suit.

Scene waiting for bus-

After buying flowers

2nd Msg: Hey cheepo, Take a bike or call a cab.

“Oye Hotel Pride chalega? “

3rd - Msg: Buy a bunch of mariegold's for her, it's her fav.

Scene - In the Restaurant- Waiting for her.

Scence - She arrives

5th Msg - Don't go for a hand shake, u r not 13 any more. wo american wali greeting.

6th Msg - pull up a chair for her.

Scene - Sitting with her

Tester - These flowers are for you.

Girl - Oh merrygold, thts my fav.

7th Msg - Order one of the finest wine Le Van De Merde.

Tester - Arre waiter, lemon the mirinda rakhat ho ka bhaiya???

Waiter - Excuse me Sir, Kya?

tester - lemon the mirinda

Waiter - no sir we do not keep mirinda

tester - are mirinda nahi lemon de mirinda

Waiter - no lemon mirinda also sir

Tester - he will show the msg.

Waiter - Sure Sir, Two glasses of Le Van De Merde at ur table

Girl - Wow, thts my fav wine. Hw cm u know it.

Report - Check.

8th Msg - Ask her, Howz her work.

Tester - hos work?

Girl - My Work....!!!!

Tester - noding his head.

Girl - Work is fine.

Boy: Do u like to listen to songs?

Girl: Yes

8th Msg - Ask DJ to play Kanwa mein shobe baali.

Tester - Asks DJ to Play

Girl: Bhojpuri?!?!

Tester: Manoj tiwary ka hain. Bahut accha hain!! !

Girl - Starts making faces.

10th Msg - *some text missing* ask her abt her age.

Tester - Whooo old r u?

Girl - Who?

Tester - tohar age ka ba?

Girl - (slapps the tester) - Badtameez. Ladki ko impress bhi nahi karne aata aur bada aaye date pe huhh..!!! Ladkiyon ke age nahi puchthe

11th Msg - *Dont ask her age.

Tester: SANTHOSH !!!!

SCENE5

------------

One part of the stage : C and Sec

Other part of the stage: SM, PM, QA and DEv

SM calls C on phone: Khurana sir,,, ap UAT kar raho ho na?

C: “Ha ha sweety bhi mere naalh hai,, Hum dono mike kara raha hai …. UAT ”

SM: “aap Subscribe kar ke ek bar chek karo”

C: “Ha ha kar rahe hai … UAT”

SM and Team tensed: “Santhosh and Chimpu I will fire all of you if UAT fails”

Clients call to SM: “Arey what a wonderful product. I got a messge You and sweety make a good couple and you can go for dinner tonight. And sweety has agreed for that. Mera life ban jayega. kyaa product of the year banaya hai...”

Everyboy shouts YES...Juggad on mobile rock..

All dances for oppa gannam style ..... Song.....End

IAF fighter on road

We were surprised to see a roadblock near Marathahalli, Bangalore on Saturday night @12 30 am. A policeman informed us that a flight is getting transferred to the HAL airport and we have to wait another 30 min.... Our surprise changed to excitement when was saw this fighter on road.....

MNP: Airtel's way of looting account balance

Let me explain how Airtel steals the money from users who request for Mobile number portablily(MNP).....

When a user request for the UPC ( unique porting code) by sending PORT <NUMBER> to 1900 Airtel  deletes the user from their network with in 24hrs. The user will not be able make any further calls and obviously the balance in user's account now goes to Airtel's pocket because as per TRAI regulations its not required to carry forward the balance to new operator. You call and complain Airtel customer care 121; you will hear that the number is deleted because of MNP request and they do not have any further information. If you request for more details then the resolution time is 3 days. If you do not get a satisfactory reply in 3 days then then next step is to report this issue to the nodal officer. The nodal officer's customer service will tell you that the number is moved to another operator as per your request. and they do not have any information on which operator it is.Strange !!!!.. If you argue that, at the time of number deletion you had not requested any other operator to port you in , then either they will ask you to wait for 3 more days to resolve the issue or they will give some reasons like the number is deleted because of non usage. Between if you had actually filed a port in request to any other operator the process will be completed by this time and Airtel will send you a mail stating that "Your number is moved to new operator successfully... enjoy the new network...". What a way of looting customers money.

As per the TRAI regulations the expected network down time should be maximum 2hrs. Airtel is violating this rule by denying service for nearly 7 days. I hope TRAI notices such cases and takes appropriate action.

This is from my personal experiance while porting from Airtel to BSNL and I lost Rs150 from my account. I have records of all communications with airtel  in this regard. I am planning to approach consumer court  for this ; its not about Rs.150 but the way they violate rules...

Huawei Myths

I am in Island Express on my way back to Kerala, one  of my co-passengers is sharing his wisdom about Huawei to his friend... I am sure this guy had never worked in Huawei otherwise he would have told such nonsense
As per this great personality...
      1.    Huawei has an RnD department and if you are a member of that team you won’t able go home before 10 pm on any working day.
      2.    Except very few RnD engineers all Software Engineers in Huawei are doing network component monitoring and maintenance. They don’t have to do programming
      3.    Huawei gives 15-30 percent hike every six month.....(Even Google and Microsoft can’t do this)
      4.    Once you work in Huawei for some time you are in a trap... you cannot move to another company because nobody would be able to offer you a hike on Huawei package (Obviously if you are getting 30% hike a year). And most of the time the HR/consultant will faint hearing your package.

Dude... I had worked four years in Huawei, that too in RnD... almost always I used to leave office before 7pm. I did not find it difficult to find another job too.... I must say Huawei is a very good company to work if you like challenges and taking up responsibilities...Also they trust young blood and if you are capable you can grow in your career quickly. And all those rumors about bad work culture are not true.

Shall I slap this idiot who is spreading nonsense?!!!!

Laddu is circle in hyderabad

While interviewing a candidate today I asked him the following puzzle

I have laddu of 4cm radius and I sell it for Rs.8; So if I make laddus of radius 2cm then what should be the price?

Candidate started solving the problem by drawing two circles on paper; and his answer was Rs 2. I asked him to explain his solution. His reply was genuine "Circle area is PI*r*r so when you make radius half it will be PI*r/2*r/2 so PI*r*r/4 implies 8/4 = Rs. 2 for the smaller laddu" Even though his answer was wrong his way of thinking was correct and hence I thought I will help him. "See Mr X you are thinking in the right way. But laddu is not a circle, its three dimensional. Tell me what is the shape of laddu". The candidate looked confused and after two minutes deep thinking he told me "But sir...laddu is circle in Hyderabad". I could not control my laugh...........:):):)

NB: Similar situation happened with another candidate and his answer was more funny. He told me with great confidence "My laddu is circle only...." :P